Heart Break II
"I love some one else,
Not you.", she said;
That's when my heart broke,
That's when my Reason fled.
I decided to leave alone
What needed gentler hands -
Instead of building homes
I shattered skies and lands.
She won't return my love
I have one world to blame.
She won't give me warmth
So I'll set the world aflame.
Let my heart break and never mend
If it cannot please her heart.
And if this world can't give her me
Let this world stop and never start.
If I think, let the thoughts
Be of heat and of blaze;
If I wake, let my work
Be to set the world ablaze;
If I sleep, let my dreams
Be in shades of red and rust;
If I live, let my world
Be aflame and turn to dust.
I burn the world and all in it
I let it burn high and red.
I burn my tender heart afresh
I let it burn our togetherness.
I burn it all and burn with it
She made it my destiny.
No mercy now for world or me
I'll burn and burn endlessly.
None of Man's many flaws are flawed as absurdly
As the flaw of finding every cause an effective fraternity -
Numbers, waves, their collapse, and uncertain probabilities -
In order to derive a single 'because'!
For no more cause than causality!
I had posted this poem in multiple parts earlier. I think it is complete now.
नियति
पानी के नाज़ुक धागों से
मैं ख़ुशी बनाया करता हूँ ।
दिन भर के मेरे हासिल को
नियती शाम को घायल करती है -
मैं चार धागे बुनता हूँ
वो पाँच उधेड़ा करती है।
मैं दिन भर सूरज तपता हूँ
वो रात को मेहनत करती है -
मैं चार खिलौने गढ़ता हूँ
वो पाँच बिगाड़ा करती है।
मैं नियती की गाढ़ी मेहनत को
हर सुबह मिटाया करता हूँ।
पानी के नाज़ुक धागों से
मैं ख़ुशी बनाया करता हूँ ।
जब मैं थक सा जाता हूँ
वो दया ज़रा दिखलाती है -
"चल दिया खेलने, खेल तू"
कहती है, इतराती है ।
मैं मीलों पानी ढोता हूँ
वो धूप बड़ा चमकाती है -
मैं महीनों अंकुर बोता हूँ
वो पल में फसल जलाती है ।
हर सावन मैं भी बारिश की
पर आस लगाए रहता हूँ ।
पानी के नाज़ुक धागों से
मैं ख़ुशी बनाया करता हूँ ।
मैं धीमे धीमे बढ़ता हूँ
वो ताने दे सताती है -
थोड़ा आगे जमता हूँ
तो पीछे आग लगाती है ।
मैं सोलह सपने सजता हूँ
वो शोर बड़ा मचाती है -
मैं उठता गिरता उठता हूँ
वो फिर से मुझे गिराती है ।
पर गिर कर फिर से उठने की
मैं शर्त लगाया करता हूँ ।
पानी के नाज़ुक धागों से
मैं ख़ुशी बनाया करता हूँ ।
जग के सारे काजों को
जल्दी निपटाना होता है -
दिल आस न छोड़े उसको थोड़ा
हर शाम रुलाना होता है।
बैरी नियती के प्रेमी को
यूँ समय बिताना होता है -
वो तोड़ सके ऐसे धागों से
ख़ुशी बनाना होता है।
मैं नियती के इस बैर को
हर सुबह भुलाया करता हूँ।
पानी के नाज़ुक धागों से
मैं ख़ुशी बनाया करता हूँ।
Stanza three of the old Niyati poem, which already had stanza two:
मैं धीमे धीमे बढ़ता हूँ
वो ताने दे सताती है -
थोड़ा आगे जमता हूँ
तो पीछे आग लगाती है ।
मैं सोलह सपने सजता हूँ
वो शोर बड़ा मचाती है -
मैं उठता गिरता उठता हूँ
वो फिर से मुझे गिराती है ।
पर गिर कर फिर से उठने की
मैं शर्त लगाया करता हूँ ।
पानी के नाज़ुक धागों से
मैं ख़ुशी बनाया करता हूँ ।
Cold
Small ball
Smaller
Smaller
Still smaller
Round curved spine
Head almost touching knees
Hands cradling the head
Silent
Cold
Numb
Lost
Wishing for warmth.
My company, Anduril Technologies, got featured in DARE's '75 startups you can bet on' (in India) story. It was their cover story for May 2010 issue. I have been waiting for an electronic version to write about it, but it hasn't come and it is already June. So I decided to post anyway. If they do publish it on Internet, I'll update the post. It is the first time, Anduril got covered in print. Is what I am feeling very similar to how parents feel when their kid faces the stage the first time to recite a poem (optimism laced with dread interrupted with bits of unreasonable embarrassment and groundless pride) ?
We made another small (tiny? minuscule?) appearance in PCQuest. Our biggest client, Eko, got covered in PCQuest's June 2010 issue, and we were mentioned in passing as their technology vendor. Here. In general Eko gets a lot of coverage as its team is one of the smartest I have worked with। In this case, this feature was specifically for the best IT projects in India, so we can preen ourselves a bit.
Update: Post the nomination I had mentioned in this post, Eko received the award for Best IT implementation of the year 2010 in Maximum Social Impact category.
Soft link: http://pcquest.ciol.com/content/search/showarticle.asp?artid=120756
If only
While they depart, and still grieve you,
Three thoughts alone desires leave you -
Would have been,
Could have been,
Should have been...
A walk in the woods
Life could be lived
In the faster lanes;
Or could it just be
A walk in the woods?
Roof top summers,
Paper boat rains -
Life could be lived
Collecting childhoods.
